I hate the Kindle, Yes I do

Would you like to know why? I’ll tell you why.

My car and I recently parted ways (she was just too high maintenance), and as a consequence I had to go back to relying on public transport. I’m not a fan of public transport, it’s too slow and too full of people with questionable personal hygiene, but I have to get to work so for right now it’s a necessary evil.

To make my journeys to and from work bearable I either put my headphones on and stare out the window or people watch. I love people watching, seeing how people act in public, react to certain situations or even how they can escape into their own little world while chaos erupts around them. I love seeing which newspaper people are reading (here in the UK at least it will tell you so much about the person reading it) and of course I LOVE seeing which books people are reading. Except now I can’t!

I don’t know which books are being read because people are sitting there with stupid leather book covers housing even stupider electronic devices. Urgh, the Kindle. Bane of my existence.

Yes, thank you. I’m fully aware that it’s a really selfish and irrational reason to hate something, but come on, amazon are clearly trying to ruin my life (or at least 2 hours of it, 5 days a week). How on earth am I supposed to profile the person sitting in front of me on the bus now, the older looking lady sitting in front could be reading the latest best-selling biography or the newest 50 Shades of filth, but now I’ll never know. And I really, really want to know.
Because if eyes are the windows to your soul, then what you read (be it books, newspapers, comics or magazines) is the door to your personality. When I people watch I do it to link characters I’ve created in my mind with real people and see if their responses match up, it doesn’t always work of course, but it’s fun all the same.

But now amazon has ruined part of the fun for me. Or have they?

Ok, this is where my post goes from being an irrational rant about Kindle and my passion for people watching to my somewhat creepy foray into people stalking (sort of). Please don’t judge me to harshly.
Earlier this week I was on my way home from work, I have to get two buses and on the first one was a middle aged lady reading a book, on her Kindle *cue teeth grinding by yours truly*. I decided to ignore her (hey, if she wanted to be analyzed by me she should have brought a paperback), and watched some other people instead. Except Kindle lady was really fascinating, her eye did not move from her Kindle, no matter what was going on on the bus. I mean I can get in to my books as well, emerging 5 hours later wondering where my afternoon went, but if I’m on a bus and a woman (I’d call her a mum but the following scenario is not particularly mum-like in my opinion) is shouting at her 5 year old kid, telling him she is going to smack him till he’s blue unless

“you sit down and shut the fuck up!”

then I would probably look up. I mean I was listening to music and I still heard it all. But not this lady, nope, eyes remained fixed on Kindle.

Then we got into town where I had to change buses, and Kindle lady quickly stowed her Kindle in her bag, got off, sat down at the nearest bench and pulled her book out again. At this point my need to know what she was reading was becoming unbearable, I HATE not knowing things.

5 minutes later my bus arrivd and it just happened to be Kindle lady’s bus as well. In the moment when I realized she was getting on the same bus as me I made a snap-second decision, I let her get on first and then I sat down behind her. My evil master plan was coming together, she got her Kindle out again and I started reading over her shoulder. Luckily for me there were some pretty unusual names on the page and I quickly entered a few of them in to Google. How can you not love Google, how did we even survive in a world without Google?

Sorry about the blurry picture, I was trying to be covert

Sorry about the blurry picture, I was trying to be covert

Ok, back to the issue at hand, Google came through as always. Kindle lady was reading Avion – Book One of the Crystal Rose Chronicles. It’s actually free in the Kindle store so I downloaded it, because I just had to experience the book that had this lady so engrossed.
Well, I don’t get it. I only made it about 20% into the book and I had to give up, the spelling mistakes and grammar issues were driving me demented. This is why I generally don’t buy self published books, very few people seem to take the time to perfect their novels, some of them read like first drafts and some of them should have never made it to first draft. This book wasn’t actually bad, but the story did not grip me enough to overcome the mistakes, if your not that fussed then you should give it a go if you like romantic fantasy type stuff (which I generally do). But I digress, again.

Back to the Kindle, I can’t do this kind of people stalking every time I want to know what people are reading on their Kindles, it’s a little bit too creepy. Which is why they should probably be banned, at least on my two buses in Basingstoke. Is everyone in agreement? Would you like me to post a petition?

Welcome to the revolution!